some sarah suggestions for marriage

I’m not a marriage guru, by any stretch.  Nonetheless, my new uber cool friend, p. ben dailey, gave these to help me get a grip, so i thought i’d pass them along.  Have a go & see what you think:

5 commandments for the women:

1. Give up on your quest for a perfect marriage.  Perfection is for heaven.

2. Give up on trying to change your husband with criticism: Luke 6:37-38 (Message) says, “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults – unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back – given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity (forgiveness begets forgiveness; kindness begets kindness).”

3. Give your husband praise:  Ephesians 4:29 (Message) says, “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.”

4. From time to time do things your husband likes to do.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (Message) says, “It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.”

5. Provide a peaceful home. Proverbs 17:1 (Message) says, “A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels.”


5 commandments for the men:

1. Assign top priority to your marriage relationship: Ephesians 5:25 (Message) says, “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting.”

2. Dare to talk: Proverbs 16:24 (GNT) says, “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the taste and good for your health.”            

3. Listen without feeling the need to solve the problem: James 1:19 (Message) says, “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue.”

4. Avoid criticism: Proverbs 13:3 (Message) says, “Careful words make for a careful life; careless talk may ruin everything.” 

5. Remember the importance of little things:  do your best to remember the little things that mean so much to your wife. 




Pls don’t use these points as beating up material – focus on your gender & aim at becoming a better spouse each day!  Changing the world starts w changing ourselves.  🙂

One thought on “some sarah suggestions for marriage

  1. Your comments/commandments for guys is right on.
    I have been married for 25 years going on 26. When we were first married, I was the typical guy who blurted out solutions every time an issue came up without allowing a discussion to take place. Well, what I learned was, not allowing any discussion or very little discussion I was making my wife mad by not allowing her to give input into our problem solving. NOT GOOD! I have learned to take my time and make suggestions rather than blurting out solutions. I have found that my beautiful wife has very good ideas too. Now, I am teaching my son the same lessons I have learned. Jesus is still working on me.

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