never enough & always late

i recently had a fun conversation w 1 of my friends who has recently had her 3rd child.  she was lamenting the fact that it always seemed like she was behind, late, sleepy, etc.  We were laughing because even before i had children, i was often late, running behind & felt like i was always trying to catch up.  Now that i have children, well, let’s just say that i’m occassionally on time & frequently feel like there’s not enough of me & in some ways, i’m ok with that.  Maybe you think that i shouldn’t be ok with that & that i should consider managing my time, energy, resources better to avoid these feelings.  Seems reasonable to me.

However, if i live life within my margins, it seems to me that i’ll always be limited by my margins.  I’m ok with running out of myself & having to rely on God (being irresponsible doesn’t fall into this category).  I’m ok with God organizing my time for His purposes, while challenging me to keep my feet fully planted in daily living & its demands.  On some days, I’m ok w feeling inadequate as i learn to trust & rely on God more.  Somewhere, there needs to be some grace between “should” & “is”.

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