There are alot of things in our lives that have expectations: job descriptions, social behaviors, standardized tests, . . . . We put alot of expectations on ourselves about how a person should act, look, dress, speak, etc and I think that sometimes, Christianity or religion can be a really tricky “filter”. Looking like a Christian, talking like a Christian, dressing like a Christian doesn’t make a person a follower of Jesus. We can match up to all of the external expectations but in our hearts, we can be a million miles away from the reason Jesus died for us. The reason Jesus died for us was not merely to make our external image appealing, but moreseo to transform what’s on the inside of us. The defining distinctive Jesus identifies as being His follower is our love for each other (John 13:35). Loving well is very important 🙂
“YOU SHOULDN’T DO THAT!!!!” When we were growing up, you probably heard that a few times, as did I. Now that I’m an adult, I still hear those words in my mind sometimes. “You shouldn’t be driving so fast! You shouldn’t be sarcastic, you shouldn’t be so casual, you shouldn’t . . . . . ”
In religion, there’s lots of “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” – we wishfully think that the right behavior will fix everything. From my perspective, this kind of thinking is like putting peacock feathers on a cow: accessorizing the external in an attempt to deny or compensate for the internal.
More than we realize our beliefs shape our behavior, so perhaps we would be better to consider what we believe as the first step. Yucky beliefs and thinking always result in yucky words and actions 🙂
These are a few of my favorite things: peaches, pho, fresh coffee, clean sheets, snuggling with my kids, a good read, a heartfelt conversation, prayer, . . . . . And one generality that holds true for all of these things is “staying fresh”. For example, I recently bought like two boxes of peaches because I know that we are coming to the end of peach season & I ABSOLUTELY LOVE peaches. But the problem is that these peaches are getting “tired” – not as good as when they’re at the peak of freshness & season. Pho is another example of keeping stuff fresh – whenever I bring home leftover pho & it sits in the refrigerator, it gets gross.
I think this is also true in our relationship with Jesus. A stale, old and tired walk with Jesus can get pretty ugly. So here are a few ideas that could be helpful in keeping fresh with Jesus:
- Bible reading: change your translation from time to time
- spiritual conversations: talk with a friend about Jesus and what you like about Him
- take a bath: sometimes we need to wash off some dirt & road wear;
- fasting / prayer: periodically, it helps me to do something extra (fast a meal or a few days, take a lunch to pray, look for someone for whom to pray
- time: it always takes my breath away when I consider that God considers my presence to be a present ,)
A very nice friend asked me today about overcoming fear & I felt encouraged that I should write about this today 🙂
In relation to fear, there are lots of things that could trouble us: fear of failure, fear of getting hurt, fear of something from the past, fear of falling down, fear of the future, fear of relationships, . . . . . . The Greeks used the term phobia and attached all kinds of things to this word (agrophobia, necrophobia & my personal favorite, snake-o-phobia).
So here are some strategies that could be helpful to overcoming fear:
- do it scared – I stole this outright from Joyce Meyer; she’s uber cool!
- face the fear a little bit at a time rather than to look at the whole thing
- consider that the devil uses fear to control us & that God created us from the very beginning to have authority, dominion & power
- catch fear in the early stage so it doesn’t go stupid
- choose to trust God & reject fear – yes to trust and no to fear
- keep trying – failing is more like practice if we take out the fear ingredient
- remember that 1 John says that perfect love casts out fear!
Feel free to add your own advice & pass this along to your fam & friends! 😀
I like Saturday mornings for lots of reasons, one of which is getting to “enjoy” my kids’ cooking efforts, kind of and sometimes. Presently, we have some company staying with us & one of my kids mentioned that he makes some really killer waffles. Our friend staying with us really likes crispy waffles and voila, a plan was “cooked up.” The execution of the plan this morning was “sketchy”. Let’s just say that we almost ruined the waffle iron, the kitchen now needs some deep cleaning attention and there were some nice overtones of cinnamon and nutmeg. Thankfully our friend who is staying with us slept in and we’ve already organized a Plan B: no waffles, but crepes area nice alternative.
When life hands you lemons, being thankful can be the sugar you need to make lemonade ,)
Today, my husband and I are celebrating 21 years of marriage and I’m happy to say that our marriage has far exceeded my expectations and hopes. My husband is an absolutely amazing man and I love how God uses our marriage to bless others & also to help me grow. In the last 21 years, here are just a few things I’ve learned:
- marriage isn’t a 50/50 bargain – it’s all in, with both feet 🙂
- conflicts are opportunities to know each other better and to improve our communication
- respect is an essential requirement a wife must be committed to give – disrespect undermines a healthy marriage
- learn to complement rather than compete
- make time for your marriage, particularly when you have children
- be friends and pray together
Happy Anniversary to my wonderful man, Reece Bowling!!
With the latest NFL scandals with Ray Rice and others, domestic abuse is thankfully more front & center in the mainstream discussion. I have yet to meet a person that thinks from a deeply heartfelt conviction that domestic abuse is a good thing – duh. Domestic abuse is bad, full stop; it shouldn’t happen and we shouldn’t allow it, end of story.
Here are some interesting questions from Bible people in relation to domestic abuse:
- Jacob and Leah: there is nothing overtly abusive that can be observed in this marriage, but there was certainly emotional trauma, neglect and preferential treatment. While Leah didn’t leave Jacob, she nestled into her relationship with God, as is evidenced by the names she gave her first four sons (Reuben – I’m seen / noticed, Simeon – I’m heard; Levi – attached; Judah – praise)
- Hosea: this is an interesting perspective because it’s from the man’s viewpoint. Hosea married a prostitute, Gomer, who was extremely unfaithful to Hosea and yet because of God’s help, Hosea remained faithful to Gomer and ultimately the marriage became a more healthy relationship for both participants
- Abraham and Sarah: Abraham told Sarah twice to pretend that she wasn’t his wife, so as to protect himself from possibly injury. Was this domestic abuse? Interesting question – maybe it was domestic neglect?
- Samartian woman at the well in John 4: Jesus called out this really cool lady, exposing the litany of marriage failures in her life (5 broken marriages). Was there domestic abuse in her life? We don’t know any of the details of this woman’s broken relationships, but we do know that after her conversation with Jesus, she was a different person and she brought her transformation to her city, who also became transformed by connecting with Jesus
Moral of the story: don’t accept domestic abuse and Jesus heals all things, including the damages from domestic abuse!