conflict resolution

A few of my kids went to school this morning after a heated conversation.  Both had tears in their eyes & it rips me up as their mom to see this tension and strife.  Which makes me wonder how God “feels” when we are yucky with each other.  The truth is that any relationship worth it’s weight will have to work through conflict.  So here are a few pointers to help with this challenge:

  • benefit of the doubt:  assume the best rather than blame the worst
  • double standard:  be mindful that you don’t just the other person by actions but ourselves by intentions
  • breathing space:  sometimes a “cool down” can bring some clarity and options that aren’t available when we are in the heat of a conflict
  • be generous:  seek to understand before being understood
  • forgive well:  practice makes perfect
  • conclusion:  sometimes the best outcome is to agree to disagree without being disagreeable 🙂
  • pray

Happy Monday to you!

 

help with rejection

“Eveybody likes you, Sarah!”  That’s what my dad would always say when I’d come home from school, complaining that no one liked me.  Now that I think about it, the truth is somewhere between the 2 extremes:  everyone & no one.  Rejection is tricky, but all of us have to manage it at various times & in varying degrees.  Here are some thoughts that I hope you’ll find helpful:

reject-2

  • rejection is universal:  everyone gets rejected at some point (some of those points are linear, connecting the dots & some are hops & skips)
  • being rejected isn’t as important as what you do with it
  • is there a reason for you being rejected?  Do you need to make some adjustments?
  • forgiveness redeems rejection & transforms it to something of great value (consider Joseph & his brothers who sold him into slavery in Genesis)
  • God never rejects you – you are accepted among the beloved – Eph 1:6
  • In Jesus’ life, His crucifixion (the ultimate rejection) came immediately on the heels of Palm Sunday

Making things easy

I was recently backing out of a parking space & didn’t see a mom walking w her kids. Thankfully, I didn’t hit anyone but I felt really bad! I quickly rolled down my window & apologized, explaining that I didn’t see them & that I was super sorry. The mom was very understanding & gracious, whew!!
So here’s my point:
*I want to make it easy for people to forgive me – admitting fault quickly & honestly helps w this
*I want to make it easy for people to be polite to me – being respectful is a great platform for this
*I want to make it easy for people to help me – being less independent is my challenge on this one
*I want to make it easy for people to thank me – being quick to help is a good starting point
I want to make the lives of others better & not more difficult. Let’s all aim for this goal 😀

friendships

  When I was growing up, I used to complain to my parents about not having any friends – it was partly true, because I wasn’t a very friendly person.  Nevertheless, my parents would always encourage me that I had lots of friends & they were always very affirming on this topic.  Here are some other pearls of wisdom they taught  me in relation to friendships:

  • diversity is good – its good to have lots of different kinds of friends:  smart, funny, healthy, beautiful, chubby, witty, deep, seasonal, insightful, superficial, . . . . .   Diversity is the spice of life!
  • in order to have friends, we must be friendly:  smile, be forgiving, generous, seeking to understand
  • be more concerned about being interested rather than interesting:  listening can be a timeless gift
  • a friendship isn’t merely about what you can get out of the relationship, but also what you can give
  • don’t be disappointed because someone is unable to give something you want in a friendship – maybe they don’t have that skill set or ability, just like you also have some shortcomings
  • give the benefit of the doubt:  don’t assign malicious intent
  • no one person can be your everything in life – this expectation is unhealthy & ultimately idolatrous
  • be the friend you would like to have 🙂
  • forgive, forgive, forgive & be prepared to continue forgiving