some sarah suggestions for marriage

I’m not a marriage guru, by any stretch.  Nonetheless, my new uber cool friend, p. ben dailey, gave these to help me get a grip, so i thought i’d pass them along.  Have a go & see what you think:

5 commandments for the women:

1. Give up on your quest for a perfect marriage.  Perfection is for heaven.

2. Give up on trying to change your husband with criticism: Luke 6:37-38 (Message) says, “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults – unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back – given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity (forgiveness begets forgiveness; kindness begets kindness).”

3. Give your husband praise:  Ephesians 4:29 (Message) says, “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.”

4. From time to time do things your husband likes to do.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (Message) says, “It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.”

5. Provide a peaceful home. Proverbs 17:1 (Message) says, “A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels.”


5 commandments for the men:

1. Assign top priority to your marriage relationship: Ephesians 5:25 (Message) says, “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting.”

2. Dare to talk: Proverbs 16:24 (GNT) says, “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the taste and good for your health.”            

3. Listen without feeling the need to solve the problem: James 1:19 (Message) says, “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue.”

4. Avoid criticism: Proverbs 13:3 (Message) says, “Careful words make for a careful life; careless talk may ruin everything.” 

5. Remember the importance of little things:  do your best to remember the little things that mean so much to your wife. 




Pls don’t use these points as beating up material – focus on your gender & aim at becoming a better spouse each day!  Changing the world starts w changing ourselves.  🙂


Hope is essential to life.  We all need hope – hope that today will have good things in it, hope that our hearts will stay connected to Christ, hope that the price of gas will stop rising, hope that my son David will stop trying to get me to like snakes, hope that I’m doing a good job as a wife & mom, hope that God is bigger than my doubts, hope that they’ll have decaffeinated coffee in Ethiopia, . . . .  hope. 

Obama wrote a book called, “The Audacity of Hope” – I have the audacity of hope that God is alive & working in every moment of each day through the good, medium & yucky.  Ps 146:5,  “Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the LORD his God.”
What are your hopes?